The Big Issue. Why do so many people feel that they aren’t worthwhile – that they aren’t important?
Did you know that in Australia, there are now more deaths by suicide than there are by Road Accidents? THAT many people feel life isn’t worth living. Is this a problem with each of them? No, I’d say if it’s that extensive we need to look a bit wider to find the cause. Sure, their solutions were personal, but it’s not right to blame the victim for the disease.
We live in a culture that values things over people. Money over people. Job descriptions over people. There is nothing in our society today that gives us the message that we, as people, are worthwhile just as we are! Some people try to find that message through religion, others try to make themselves feel worthwhile by “success” on a financial, career or relationship level. It’s something we’ve learnt to look outside ourselves to find.
We grow up in “nuclear” families that are overstretched time and money wise, and haven’t got the energy or attention to devote themselves to us, as children. We get attention only when we do something. Cry, throw a tantrum, giggle, whatever. It’s not US getting the attention – it’s our actions.
Then we get older. Remember the scolding you got when you were old enough to break something? What message does that hold – “you are not worth as much to me as this thing was”. Not only do we need to do things to attract attention and get loved, we now learn that objects are more important than we are – we have to defer to them and be careful.
OK. There are a few more steps, but then we get to the media. TV and radio advertising. In a materialistic society, it’s all based around trying to make people feel that they’ll be better off with whatever it is being sold. We’re poked in our insecurities and told “you may not be being loved or respected now, but wait! Buy this and you’ll get all the love/respect/attention you want! And LOOK! It’s only $29.95 (or whatever)” We buy it. Actually, we buy the message behind it. And after years of buying it, when still don’t have all the love, respect and attention we expected, we start to think there’s something REALLY wrong with us – (obviously the things we bought aren’t at fault, we’ve been convinced they would work in order to buy them in the first place).
The story goes on. Only eighty years ago anyone who had a job was looked down on – everyone was self-employed! They were butchers, farmers, bakers, whatever – they were responsible for themselves. Today, it’s exactly the reverse. Anyone who tries to take control of their own finances is laughed at, looked down on and told “it’ll never work” repeatedly. It’s normal to give control over your finances – and therefore your survival – to a boss.
Is it any wonder, with so few people feeling they have any control over their money, that there are so few people who control a decent amount of money? A quote I read recently, although I can’t remember who it was from, said in effect that if all the money in the world was redistributed evenly – it would take no more than several months for it to be back in exactly the same pockets as before. I think I agree.
The first step to Self-esteem is to start feeling in control. Whatever areas you can – reclaim control over your life. Set boundaries. Make decisions for yourself. Start feeling the power you do have. It’s amazing how much of a difference that can make.
And of course, you can check out the 10 day course I’ve put together to give you all the tools you need to start your journey to empowerment – details are at http://selfpositivity.com/10-days-to-empowerment/